Age Ranges

This is inspired by a rebuttal I was reading by George Lucas that responded to Jar Jar Binks (back when Episode I came out, of course). Mr. Lucas said that, yes, Jar Jar was a comedic character in there "for the children" because Star Wars is really a series "for children."

Excuse me? A series for children? Okay, then quite apart from having an all-adult cast (minus the shitty Episode I), would George care to explain some other stuff to me? The various love stories, perhaps? Or how about Leia's get-up in the third (uhm, sixth) movie? ...A series for children. A series for children. Give me a break.

It also got me thinking about some other stuff that's a bit more recent. I fully admit to being a Potterhead, but with good reason - the first book came out in 1997 or 1998, when I was 10 or 11. I identified, as I'm sure many, many, many kids did at the time, with Harry, if not with living with the Wormwood-esque family, then in being selected to enter a magical world. True, J.K. Rowling couldn't write a new book every year, and the movies certainly wouldn't be released every year. The result? I was 21 when the final book came out, and I'll be 24 for the final movie. Apparently, this makes me a very hot commodity as far as marketing execs are concerned.

Consider the Twilight series. Let me be honest here: I think they're utter garbage, poorly written, full of clichés and stereotypes, and all about a "strong female character" who's willing to give up all personal independence at the first sign of a long-term relationship. Also, "vampire baseball" is the most frightening phrase since "watermelon-flavored spray cheese (that doubles as adhesive!)," but never mind that.

Twilight was, I believe, initially aimed at the tween/teen crowd, and on that level it makes sense - the emotions are simplified; the writing, while it's pretty bad, does its job; the book does communicate attraction without going straight for overt sex. (And I'm trying very, very hard here to come up with these pros. Cookie, please. ) The problem is, it's supposed to be the next Harry Potter. Even as I admit I'm a Potterhead, I also admit that I've read a lot of books about same-aged characters that are a lot better - Catcher in the Rye, A Separate Peace - and even ones with the magical elements, like His Dark Materials. But even as Potter is no certain masterpiece, Twilight is like reading Cliffnotes for Dummies!, as translated by someone who has only a minimal grasp of the English language.

But here's where it comes back to the age range thing. Twilight, as I said, was initially marketed as the next Potter - while my age group (kids who were in their tweens and teens in the late nineties and early 2000s) had gotten older, Twilight was supposed to be for the kids who were in their tweens and teens in the mid-to-late 2000s. Here's the rub: My generation apparently didn't know what to do after Harry Potter. In my opinion, Potter should've led into things like Catcher in the Rye and A Separate Peace. Instead, marketers got their hands on us and decided that "next Harry Potter" meant the next thing for US to read. So, instead of moving up, we moved down. Whereas Harry Potter was our interesting, well-traveled old grandpa with lots of stories that seemed to go on forever but all connected in the end, Twilight was our learning-impaired virgin uncle who dreams of re-living high school so he can finally ask the head cheerleader out.

I'll put forth a cross-sampling of five friends of mine. Of those six, I and one other both refuse to watch the movie or touch the books again. Two of them have read all the books and seen the movie, but profess to believe, wholeheartedly, that they are useless tripe with "a plot that sucks you in," and so explain it that way. The last two fully believe Twilight to be the best thing since Harry Potter (or perhaps even of all time), and absolutely refuse to hear a word against it. When I laughed at the trailer for the new movie, they wouldn't talk to me for a couple of days.

So, what? Half the time I just feel like a killjoy, trying to tell people that they shouldn't like something because I don't think it's good enough. But, then, I think specifically in terms of my friends above, and I realize, you know what? They're very intelligent people. If they were making any other decision I thought was poor or uninformed - taking a bad job, changing to an ill-suited major, moving to skeazy apartment - I'd tell them. I'd hope they'd WANT me to tell them. So why is this any different? I think they're making a choice that not only seriously undervalues them as a person, but also gives Stephanie Meyer millions of undeserved dollars and an undeserved reputation as a literary goddess. She writes what amounts to bad fanfiction, folks. You want to read your Twilight, fine, I recognize that I can only tell you that I don't like it. In the end, I don't, and I guess I can only hope that people will come to their senses, and that someone will get Buffy to stake those fucking Cullens.