It seems to me that application committees want to hear about adversity and overcoming it, potentially in new and exciting ways, but certainly because the applicant must participate in the subject or perish.

I found my motivation today: I was targeted by snipers.

Imma momentarily emo
I feel oftentimes as if my life is a neverending cycle of school applications and transfer requests and document retrieval and test scores and blah inanity blah.
It isn't, I know, I know.
Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled blog.

I'm sitting here, eating a goddamn pumpkin pastie (ahrm, "goddamn delicious," rather), looking out at the gray and overcast (but not yet freezing) day, and feeling
OH
SO
BRITISH.
WOT WOT!

This is strange: I realized that there are only a couple of weeks left in 2010 but I'm okay with that. Normally at this time of the year I start to panic and wonder why the year's passed so quickly and why I didn't do more. This year, time passed fairly quickly, but I feel like the quality of the year was robust enough to warrant its passing.

This is probably a major philosophical key. Take note, heathens.

I seriously think that this didn't, doesn't, and probably won't ever register the Catcher in the Rye of that exchange, and it makes me (a) very sad, re: listener, (b) even sadder, re: listener submitted the story without understanding it, and (c) ecstatic that there's a female Holden Caulfield riding around Brooklyn somewhere.

You still live, Mr. JDS!

From the end of The Whole Shebang:

"More appropriate, I should think, is the view that God created the universe out of an interest in spontaneous creativity - that he wanted nature to produce surprises, phenomena that he himself could not have foreseen. What would such a creative universe be like? Well, it would for one thing be impossible to predict in detail. And this seems to be the case with the universe we inhabit. The information theorists find that even if the entire universe were a computer, or could be converted into a computer of the maximum theoretically possible capability, that computer would be incapable of predicting all future phenomena. Further, a creative universe should give rise to agencies that are themselves creative, which is to say unpredictable. There is in our universe such an agency, spectacularly successful at reversing the dreary slide of entropy and making surprising things happen. We call it life. It would be suitable if this agency were to inquire into the workings of the universe, winnowing out the predictable from the unpredictable and inventing theories to account for the difference. And that is what intelligence does. Better still if thinking creatures were to perceive that they are all in the same boat - 'Poor, benighted members of the same ship's company,' in Adlai Stevenson's phrase - and hence treat one another kindly and assert that God is love. And so we do, though not often enough. ...
"Whether he left or was ever here I do not know, and don't believe we shall ever know. But one can learn to live with ambiguity - that much is requisite to the seeking spirit - and with the silence of the stars. All who genuinely seek to learn, whether atheist or believe, scientist or mystic, are united in having not a faith but faith itself. Its token is reverence, its habit to respect the eloquence of silence. For God's hand may be a human hand, if you reach out in loving kindness, and God's voice your voice, if you but speak the truth."

'kay. A character who's too cheap to buy cologne, so he goes to the local Fry's (or whathaveyou) before every date or night out (or whathaveyou), opens the men's magazines, rips open the cologne smelly-tabs, and rubs 'em on. He then replaces the magazine and goes about his evening.

Is he a bastard? Is he anything but a bastard?
I just thought of this. Remember.

Today, I determined/discovered:
*Buckle employees aren't allowed to start their merchandise spiel unless you touch something. Soon to be tested in the lab of life.
*that Facebook deal with the cartoon characters is a joke with a positive message appended. When it blows over, and the Pokemon week's over, I'm trying it myself. Ideas easily followed?

My entire weekend went to homework, with a diversion for a concert. I've never bought anyone flowers before. Calm down: She's a fellow physics-organic sufferer, and she'd never received flowers. So there we go.

Finals. Well, on Friday. Regular week until then because what's the point of wasting time or whatever? Also it's back to almost 70º and thus not Decembery. We had two snow days last finals week. Psh.

AFTER FINALS:
*Rock Band/Christmas decorating/Balderdash-games day/night next Saturday, the 11th.
*Phoenix trip on Wednesday the 15th to procure an outfit for the Event of the Season, and to hang out with Stacy and Sky before they leave.
*Amanda graduates on the 18th!
*Phoenix again on Sunday the 19th for Lauren's British Shindig.
*THE EVENT OF THE SEASON: DECEMBER 23.

Lauren and Jenny, who should still read this: Join me for the first two excursions and/or stay-in soirees?

Jesus, Weather Channel, you, too? I mean, enough with the buzzwords already! Call it a motherfucking "snow storm," not a "widespread snow event."

Add Jimi Hendrix to that Eric Clapton post.

So I read a cyclohexane where it should've been a hexane and only got a 90 on the organic test. Damn. Other hand: 100 on the physics test. In other words, I can do pretty well with tests in succession.

I'm looking at physics programs AS I TYPE. Incidentally, if anyone has any suggestions regarding funding, I'm open. I need to look into grants, probably. NSF, anyone? Ugh, but all these things take the time I do not have.... Finding it. Finding it.

By God, I have it! A Madonna musical about life and death, but mostly death.

Including:
"Like a Surgeon"
(Like a surgeon / cut for the very first time / like a sur-r-r-geon...)

"Immaterial Girl"

...and more!

Eric Clapton is good for a low-key talkparty. Recall. Also he works with fires and Nutella.

Goldfrapp musical!

Why is my physics book "a strategic approach"? Such doesn't seem to leave much room for an opposite or an alternate methodology.

I have Rock Band 3. So:

Dear Rock Band Folks,

Your musical selections are, for the most part, pretty decent. You should really have more from the 60s, but that's okay. You covered the 70s and 80s pretty well. The 90s are a little iffy, but in the interest in your monumental fuck-up regarding the next decade, I'll forgive you.

Let me just say that I respect your monumental precipice. In the last decade, a quintet of gargling yaks might have produced music with more merit than did the major labels. Still, you shouldn't have given up hope! There is some good music out there, and, yes, most of it is not major. Still, in the interest of elucidated tastes, let me propose some good material from the last ten-or-so years.

Devastation, The Besnard Lakes
All to All OR Chase Scene, Broken Social Scene
Clocks, Coldplay (COME ON, they need ONE song)
Heart Full of Pentagons, Film School
40', Franz Ferdinand (or SOMETHING by default, damnit)
Strict Machine OR Utopia OR Caravan Girl, Goldfrapp
Human, The Killers
Runaway, Ladytron
Monkey, Matthew Dear
Black Sheep, Metric
Time to Pretend, MGMT
Silvia, Miike Snow
Grace Kelly, Mika
Supermassive Black Hole, Muse
House of Cards, Radiohead
Fire With Fire OR Music is the Victim, Scissor Sisters (appropriately enough)
Photograph AND Poison, Shiny Toy Guns
Tony the Beat, The Sounds (which is just fun, okayshaddup)
Drops of Jupiter OR Meet Virginia, Train (pushing the 00s a bit)

by the way, in general, you need (some or more) U2, The Smiths, R.E.M., Paradise Lost, Lush, Led Zeppelin (STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN! and Immigrant Song, please), Garbage, Fleetwood Mac, Eurhythmics, The Eagles, CCR (by default, for Christ's sake), The Cars, The Beach Boys, Blondie

General statement: Odd things happen to me.

Specific 1: I didn't even mean to go to Wal-Mart. Yet somehow I ended up invited to a wedding.

Specific 2: In the garden department.

Anime Response: ...

Switching from physics to organic without a clutch! Finals are going to be OWLs, for sure.

A guy in organic still talks with his lab partner from last year. Evidently in his uni section, they don't even think about running their own GCs or IRs or NMRs. And they do an exercise similar to the APS separation, but as a final lab. Yeah, it was our first.

BAM That library last night had blue running lights. Not quite as odd as the Detroit airport, but close.

Somehow both Stacy and Amanda describe me as their major corruptive force.
(I hate that sentence.)
Mission: yeah bitch yeah. I'm in your mind graffitiing your neurons YEAH.
(I like that sentence. "graffitiing" - my word)

I was just going to go home after we let the astronomy class go. Danny talked me into going to Starbucks to study physics with Giorgio and Josh. He bought me tea. The checkout chick was going to throw out two dozen yogurt parfaits so we got 'em. We crashed the Riddle library because nothing else is open after ten. There was much discussion of crack and normal forces and Danny's sharpshooting ability and the possible semen on Josh's hands*.
(*It was chalk. Probably. He is a gymnast.)

It's one am. I have tests this week and a movie premiere. I am not tired. I am wired. I want a dance party.

I can't believe Stacy went to sleep instead of experiencing the second paragraph. Obviously I haven't worked hard enough.

For future reference, seasons happen all at once. For example, it was still close to summer last week, excepting a bit of a breeze. All of a sudden, Monday's fall. Granted, I was in Phoenix for the GRE on Saturday and I didn't go outside much on Sunday, but still - a day, two days, pfft. Seasons switch quickly.

I had other thoughts to record, but I forget what they were. Oh wells.

Every time I think about my professionale website, I think I ought to improve this thing so I don't sound like a rambling loony with schizo tendencies, or something. OH, and I like apples.

Current favorite band, +/- 2.4 months: GOLDFRAPP

I got to make rebar sing a few weeks ago, with raisin rosin (incidentally, I had to search "violin powder" to recall what it was called).

Is it weird that I actually enjoy organic chemistry? And chemistry in general? And am now writing a paper on chemical rhetorics to get into grad school? Which I'm going for again, in a different way?

The episodes of my life continue:

10.1007
Tony discovers that John's set up Danny with Sabine. Stacy plans for her weekend with Sky. Deryc and Sam marshal the physics class into a suite of experiments at which Vicki doesn't do so well. Sarah discovers that her "difficult" chemistry test was exactly the same as last year's. And Melissa reveals that she has a crush on the tall guy with the pompadour.

So I just:

(*) found out that a guy who was a year above me in high school is likely going to be adjuncting at Yavapai next year, in the science department. Old physics TA, too. Could be doing more? Should be doing more? Ah, the vagaries of life. I'm not really bitter or anything, incidentally.
(*) almost got caught in a giant rainstorm.
(*) escaped that rainstorm via the umbrella of a friend who I ran into randomly, who I haven't seen since last year, and who I got to talk to for about two minutes while she walked me across in relative dryness to the cafeteria.

Now I just smell damp.

The world is a strange place.

Also, potentially the best sentence ever uttered in the English language:

"Ok, ttyl, gotta go sneak these Malibu minibottles out of my purse so me and T-bone here can get crunked up before we hit the lakehouse and I blow his mind with my special grape jelly handjob."

TIRED = WIRED

I love my incongruous music collection. Some Bs:

Bruce Springsteen-Broken Social Scene-Britney Spears-"Brave Little Toaster" Soundtrack

Yeah, there's no denying my BAMFery.

Man, I don't often feel like aspects of life need a do-over, but the past three schoolweeks might qualify. The first one wasn't so bad, albeit involving some rather unfortunate emotional shit, but since then my o-chem class has been pretty unpleasant, lab has been downright awful (I'm thinking of dropping the lab part, actually), and our grades are already two weeks behind (and we're only three weeks in). Then, too, D's been sick for the past couple weeks and is probably dropping o-chem entirely, and wasn't in physics today for the last time. Stacy says I just gotta live for me and help when he asks, and I know she's right, but ... dammit.

On the upside, the other stuff has been pretty good. Life in general, I mean. And I've been making some pretty okay choices and decisions about where I want to go. And going to Flagstaff was a blast, except for touring around campus. It's nice to have good friends.

I saw the top of the world yesterday! Or, actually, the top of Arizona, but that's just fine.

So, Jesus. It's almost the end of August. I mean, it is the end of August. Congratulations: Three-quarters of 2010 over. Only a couple dozen short months until the end of the world! I can only hope it involves superpowers for me.

Hey, it's my half-birthday! And it's the Perseids tonight, too. Which means my wishes should all come truuuuuuuue

Many societal norms just boggle my mind. Among them, congratulating new aunts/uncles/godparents/grandparents/what-have-yous on a child that is clearly not theirs. For that matter, I don't think the father deserves all that much credit, either, but I'm digressing from my snark. In a perfect world, an exchange would go something like this:

RELATIVE OF NEW BABY: I'm an aunt/uncle/grandparent/third-cousin! :-)
FRIENDLY BUT NOT-SO-SHARP ACQUAINTANCE: Congratulations!
RELATIVE OF NEW BABY: Thanks! It really came down to the wire on punching the mother-to-be in her inflated womb! Some days, I could feel the ol' fist of death just a-windin' up, ready to sock that fetus into next week, but I managed to take it out on some defenseless puppies instead. Incidentally, don't go near the wood chipper.
FRIENDLY BUT NOT-SO-SHARP ACQUAINTANCE: >:-O

And that's the way it would go. But, as Lock says, "I'm considerably acidic."

Reason number one not to housesit UNLESS you're being paid:

Evil, robotic cats

Sure, you figure it sounds like all fun and dancing at first, as this image would seem to suggest:

Cute? Well, not when the reality is more like this:

It began with a joke from Stacy - the cat included in the house package meows constantly, and when it doesn't sound like a furry outboard motor, it's going for distance: meows that last ten, fifteen, twenty seconds. She initially called it robotic because she assumed its voicebox had gotten stuck, or perhaps there was something wrong with its programming.
Not so funny, now. It should also be noted that it has the devil's eyes, which would make sense as they're actually cameras.
The cat eats like a steamroller (seriously, one of the fattest felines I've ever seen); still meows nonstop, even with constant attention; and has somehow, despite, or perhaps as an extension to, its programming, it has developed a taste for human flesh. When I go over to feed and water and clean and whatnot, it's taken to pouncing on my calves and digging in, trying to extract the juicy bits of manflesh its owners apparently don't let it have. I wondered about the poor students in my biology class, and now I wonder if they became nothing more than kitty cookies for the deranged killer robot my professor deigns to call a housepet.

Next time: REVENGE OF THE POTTED PLANTS

Incidentally, and in light of my last couple months of posts, here's a disclaimer for my future self or anyone else out there:
Do NOT agree to housesit if there's no pay in the offing. Unless your second choice is going broke or street-living, it's NOT worth it.

I should really start to post some actual content in this journal. I suppose quotes qualify, but I'm going to be angry at myself in a year for not recording all of life's little nonsenses.

"For best results, go about life like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age."

"The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy"

"You're only a rebel below the waist"

I just posted Wine in the Afternoon thus far into an online analyzey-thing, and this is what it told me. Max smilies!

I write like
J. D. Salinger

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I'm editing through some old things, and I found this gem:

"No talking in the Library!" Mrs. Watts hissed.
"You had to talk to tell us that," Luc pointed out.
Mrs. Watts considered this and then said, "No contradictions in the Library."

I crack myself up.

"Be exquisite and never explain."

I wanna be friends with someone named Jesus (Gringo: /hey-zoos/) so that I may poke him and Facebook will tell me
"YOU POKED JESUS"

I am twenty-three years old and I can legitimately write on my cover letters "My stories and poems have appeared or are forthcoming in..." and MAKE IT A LIST. OF FIVE MAGAZINES! I am excited! I am happy! I will disregard any man or woman who tells me ever again that exclamation points are loose, foolish punctuation marks.

More stolen:
"...It's just one of those rude moments, when the universe grabs you and smacks you on the cheek and tells you that your simple way of thinking just won't work."

Oh, and then I came across this motto for that old journal:

"I have a lot to say.
the problem lies in the saying."

I'm kinda smart sometimes.

Is anyone else's memory starting to go?
I found this in my old journal:
Saturday, July 5, 2008
"I have an invitation to go camping with the man I still like. I cannot, thanks to (a) a bit less than a half a tank of gas in my car and (b) about thirty dollars in my bank account, total."
Okay, so I'm always broke and my car always needs gas, check. But who was the man who I liked? When did I get invited to go camping with him? Where? Why didn't I? Who was the mysterio Lothario?
I'm not actually obsessing over it. I mean, it was probably Jeremy, and it was two years ago. It just bothers me when I can't remember things.

I'm copying some good things from Facebook~

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to put one in a fruit salad."

"So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts." (from J.Bacz)

"If you have come here to help me, then you are wasting your time … But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."
--Aboriginal activist women's group, Queensland, 1970s

Okay, friends, I need some advice.

I may have mentioned my housesitting gig for the summer, but if not, one of my professors asked me to housesit for him as he is taking his family to Oregon for the summer (all of June and July) where he has a summer teaching position. His house is all right, and he has a few creatures - a cat, a few fish, his daughter's gerbils, and his wife's plants.

Given my understanding of housesitting, I assumed I would be paid to stay there. However, when I asked him about it, he seemed a bit confused. I assume now that he's offered his place to college students (and etc.) before as a place where they can live rent-free for the summer ... which would be awesome, except I'm already living rent-free. So, my conundrum is this: Do I say "screw this, I ain't puttin' up with all this for two months and no extra money" or do I say "yeah, good, for the reasons I shall elucidate below."

Reasons For:
(*)I haven't mentioned it here, I don't think, but I'm seeing a guy and have been since April. I think it's getting pretty serious, and it would be spectacular to have an actual place, even if it's only for the summer. As it is, he lives with his (albeit cool) mother, and I live in my roommate-esque situation with my brothers and father, and will probably spend time with my mother. Still, it would be awesome to have a place to call my own.
(*)Just for me, then: The whole divorce thing often drives me crazy, and even when no one's here - I'm watching my house and the dogs for about a week while my family's in Mexico - it's still heavy with an uncomfortable vibe. It would and could be worth it, I think, to have a different place to be for a couple of months.
(*)Apart from the whole "not living with my family" thing, I could certainly get food from my house and supplement it with what I wanted to buy. Then, too, my house is available for anything I may need over the summer in addition to food. I mean, same town and all.
(*)I really do like this professor, even if he's a big nerd. Certainly if I back out on my deal now, he won't write me a letter of recommendation, and I do plan on asking for one.

Reasons Against:
(*)The obvious one, no money. But I will be working this summer tutoring as well, so I have my job to provide me my pittance.
(*)Driving logistics. Since my brother and I essentially share a car, this could be problematic since I will probably staying over there for days at a time. Fortunately, my brother doesn't have summer school or a job, but he's supposed to look for one. How he'll do that, I'm not sure, since he's in Mexico now, will go to Japan a week after he gets back for a week and a half, and is definitely taking one other trip this summer with one of his friends. Obviously, my schedule should take priority, not to mention that they're supposed to be selling one of the dirtbikes and buying another car, and this may serve as the incentive to actually do that.
(*)The time investment. If I'm tutoring, taking a class, and watering and whatnot, my summer may not be as fun-filled as I had hoped. But it's not a huge problem I anticipate.

I dunno, it looks like the reasons for are currently in the lead. It would be nice to be paid, don't get me wrong, but it's not the dealbreaker I thought it was when I first found out.
So, your advice?

So yesterday I was very, "Ha ha ha, finals debauchery! You attempt to confuddle me with your days spent in study and turn me into a sedentary blobbo! But I have your number, and I shall (a) eat salads and Grape Nuts and healthy things today, (b) take frequent breaks to move and stretch, (c) not neglect my exercise schedule. Yes, ho ho, I have your number!"

And then today rolls around. I've been laying on bed bed basically all day, to the point where my shoulder's like "WTF? Am I supposed to be able to move, at all, ever?" I've eaten (a) cookies, (b) leftover pizza, (c) SweetTarts, and (d) burritos (and soup and oatmeal, which *ahem* are healthy). My body is well on its way to becoming vermiform, friends.

Finals start tomorrow! I am SO ready. And by that I mean if I have to spend another free day where I could be, I don't know, catching free-range octopi, laying on my bed staring at notes, I'm going to turn explosively homicidal. So bring 'em on, I say! And let me out, also I say!

It also strikes me that I've developed some patterns in coping with finals. Like I did last semester, I spent yesterday night baking banana bread. I also, courtesy of Jenna's strong suggestions, read Harry Potter when the going gets boring.

To Miss Jenny, I say: A hem to you, milady! I am less bitter now that I'm actually going to get to have finals and I don't have to wait through a three-day weekend to get there anymore.

"Don't go to bed angry. Stay up and plot revenge."

Soooooooooo the potential of nuclear events and all associated everythings officially frightens me.

Also, I made up a couple of equations and arrived at the right answer on that quiz I thought I blew. Go figure.

Also, after the Science Bowl of last Friday (in which my team took second place), I may be seeing a Guy. Or dating, or thinking about dating, or spending time with, or something. Romance-y verbs are so very difficult to parse, yes? It's just shitty because finals have, as previously noted, taken over and, unlike the rest of the entire world, I have them three days next week, so I basically can't see him until after. I 'spose things aren't that bad, since we go to school together and he has the same worries and frets in that department, more or less. But a vacuum is still annoying.

Okay, so maybe it's not the entire world. But I am tired of logging onto Facebook and seeing a brazillian "LAST FINAL LAST FINAL WOO!!!!11!!!!1!!!" updates. The logical thing to do would be to avoid Facebook, yes? And the illogical thing to do would be to post things like "Fuck you, you lint-licking butt-bonnet." 'Course, I don't do either, so what does that make me? Probably mediocre. Thanks, Facebook.

All right, friends. It's time to learn a few semesters of biology and chemistry so that I may vom 'em back up over sixty hours in the wee bits of next week. 'Tis a dismal prospect, but one that I intend to scale magnificently.

And so I have firmly crossed the line into apathy regarding school, as I very probably just screwed up not one but two chemistry quizzes. I can kind of explain this away by saying he only counts our ten highest quizzes into our grade, I already have ten perfect scores, these were quizzes twelve and thirteen, but still. I am attributing this to several things:
(*) school's almost over (one week! one week!)
(*) apathy in general regarding this subject (thermo/electrochemistry), which is interesting in theory but largely boring in practice
(*) the sudden nice weather
(*) wanting school to be over, damnit, no matter what, as I've finally met a guy and I have zero time at present. Actually, he's in my chemistry class, so he understands entirely, but still.

"Love yourself. The world is a more beautiful place because you are here."

I'm in labs quite often, if you hadn't noticed (thanks for caring about my life, asshole [just kidding {...butthead}]). We've been waiting on chemistry test gradation, and as I was up in the lab writing a lab report this afternoon, along with a few kids in my lab, my professor was calling people in one at a time to get their test grades. Most of the news wasn't good - I think the average and median were both around 62 - so by the time he called me in, I was close to panicking. See, I always think I know what I'm doing, except then I'm afraid I don't. Do I suffer from nonconfidence in my chemistry abilities? Abso-fraggin'-loutely. ...I need to work on that. Anyway, he called me in because I missed a single question, and he wanted me to look at the answer key to make sure that he hadn't screwed the answer up.

MOAR CONFIDENCE. DO I HEAR MOAR CONFIDENCE? MOAR CONFIDENCE TO THE MAN IN THE BACK WITHOUT THE HAT!

And thus I'm mostly over not going to pride. Stacy*, in her infinite wisdom, reminded me that if I couldn't go, it was because I shouldn't go. Some days I believe in fate, some days I believe in destiny, some days I believe in luck, and some days I just believe.

Still, I decided drinking tonight would be a good idea. Result? I am a little tipsy and I've invented a new drink, the spiced rum'n'A&W, which isn't bad. Try it if you want, but as I'm certain that I'm the first one to ever think of it, I intend to collect royalties whenever you make it.

In other news, engagements annoy me. Not only gay engagements (more on that if I feel like it), but engagements in general. In brief, I think it's because of my own perceived shortcomings: I'm in a place where I can't even get a date, much less commit to a relationship, much much less commit to a lifetime.

Yet when an old friend (who shall, at her request, remain nameless) wrote me relatively unexpectedly this evening to announce her engagement, I felt the warm glow of Christmas lights. Part of that is the rum (no doubt upon sobriety I shall look at this entry with the intense monocle of incredulity), and part of it is because this person is the last person I ever would have imagined getting married, and part of it is the analogous wonder of seeing goats dance ballet: I want to know how she's going to do it. I'm kinda hoping I get an invite, and hoping even more that I can attend.

And now, some advice. One of my lab partners, the one who's young (just nineteen) and the one whom I do not have a crush on, explicated why he thought anal sex was awkward, uncomfortable, and weird, I couldn't say anything. As in, I was literally frozen by the awkwardness, unable to do anything but cheer when Stacy* came and rescued me for lunch. The lab partner I do have a crush on made an awkward joke that could've easily been a "ha ha I've so done that" cover, but I'm trying not to read too much into it. Just because he's smouldering and I'm frustrated.... No! I shall not address thee, mistress of sorrows!

This really shouldn't go out until my system's repolarized. Or depolarized. Whatever. It will, anyway.

Kellie* texted me tonight to tell me that if she were a gay man, she would totally be sexing it up with me. She's my guiding light, that girl.

(*yes, their actual names)

Man, I hate being irrationally pissed for many days. People don't want to be around me. Hell, I don't want to be around me.

In related news, I am not going to pride, due in part (or in whole) to the utter lameness of every. single. person. I was supposed to go with.

In unrelated news, I really love Grape-Nuts.

In related news that is unrelated to the unrelated news but is related to the related news, I've decided that while it's nice to say "being gay isn't a big deal!" such it something you would say only from the sidelines. The passage of the new measure involving patient determination of who's allowed in the hospital room threw this into sharper focus.

In a final related piece, I dislike the gays who play at straight acceptance. Specifically, I think gays getting engaged and buying rings and planning weddings is the whipped rose on top of a ridiculous cake. C'mon, guys! Let's continue to argue legalities, but let's also start our own fucking religion or something, huh?

Current plan: Mad seduction skillz at pride so that I don't ever have to buy my own alcohol. Good idea? Good idea!

For the record, I find it incredibly frightening when a person dubs him/herself a "Reagan conservative." It sounds too much like a rallying cry for burning homos and science in the same fire.

In other news, it's April? What happened to March? Or February? Oh, yeah, and I'm going to pride next weekend. I've never been to one and I'm nervous-excited.

90s/dance Pandora stations for the win.
This synchronous sequence struck me:
"It's Gotta Be You" by the Backstreet Boys
"It's Gonna Be Me" by N*Sync
Weird, no? And, yeah, I'm eccentric.

I changed my title! I changed my title! I don't think I can do anything about the address, but I suppose I'll let the bygones live.

I'm going to update more often. Goal: go! 'Course, it's probably not the most realistic goal to make before a solid week of tests, but there you go. Kimono is from the Greek....

ohmygodohmygodohmygod that was totally an earthquake and not the washing machine shaking the entire house!

On the one hand, you see what chemistry does to my logic circuits.
On the second hand, anyone who's west of the Rockies just updated their Facebook status, which means that the quake was so big that it actually shook the internet. I wonder where it was centered?

Adding lol to the end of your stupid question doesn't reduce the stupidity of said question.

Tony has decided, for probably the bazagagabillionth (10^43) time, that he sounds like a delightful moron with a lemon twist on this bloggery thing. As a result, he will now write about himself in the third person. Obviously, it is more professional to write without "I"s because this is America, and there are no mere men in business endeavors. If you want to feel the cuddliness of individuality, go to China or something. Yes, yes, this is what Tony thinks.

In other news, if you have any snippets of advice for crafting cover letters, especially the kind that accompany writings to magazines, pass 'em on?

And that's the end of spring break, but not of spring. It went by quickly, but it was quite fun. From this Wednesday, I have seven weeks left in the term. Utterly ridiculous, as it feels (in everything but temperature) like yesterday was mid-January.

Ah, well. The sun's rising around 630 now, which I know because I was up at said rising one day. No, peeps, spring break is not simply for sleeping.

I go off to liaise with the world with a compromise of terms. Wish me luck!

Just remember, winky face equals kinky face ;-)

Building the Titanic: $7 million
Making the movie Titanic: $200 million
Sinking the Titanic: priceless

ICEBERG: Heh heh heh heh....

This is officially the first day of spring. It's warm (~60s) but it's also windy as hell. Love the warm, hate the wind: Hello, season of dichotomy.

Just when you thought Facebook couldn't get any weirder:

"Do you want him to see you as more than just a friend? Let an experienced Witch cast the More Than Friends spell for you - it works!"

I have no pithy observations, and I am not at all tempted to click the link.

"I've been listening to Christina Aguilera all day trying to figure out what a girl wants"

In addition to the Fleetwood Mac reference, my crush also happened to sing "The Eye of the Tiger" as we played that night. I'm listening to it now.
BOY HOWDY this is how CREEPY MEMORIES are made. Yearbooks could've been so much better.

I don't have a problem with having friends who are, say, three or so years younger than me. I mean, it gets a little weird when you consider sibling ages, but it's eminently overlookable.
But then I realize OMG YOU NEVER LIVED IN THE EIGHTIES, and everything just gets a little awkward.

Also, a gripe: It bothers me to no end when folks say they're feeling sick, and that their remedy is (or someone suggests the remedy of) eating a whole lot of vitamins, or drinking a lot of vitamin C, or eating ?garlic pills?. Okay, people, it doesn't work. Sucking down Emergen-C is not a valid way to fight off a cold or the sniffles; vitamin C is ascorbic acid, and your body can only absorb so much of it at any time. If you drink a whole lot of vit C, you're just making your pee more expensive (and possibly a bit fragrant, but the jury's still out).

I fucking hate official transcripts.

So you have a birthday party. At this party are multiple best friends, and friends you've had for years upon years. You're also entertaining an ostentatious new girl from Chicago, a beautiful woman of science who admit she's had a crush on you, the roommate of same. Soon-to-be superspies. That guy you met at your first meeting to the GSA over the summer. Those couple folks you were once squeezed awkwardly with onto a couch. Oh, and did I mention that cute guy who you were so certain (a) you'd never learn the name of? (b) once you did, never talk to? (c) once you did, never spend time around? (d) once you did, never become friends or (gasp) lab partners? is also there? At your birthday? And you're doing the party thing while he's talking to the guy you met at your first meeting of GSA and one half of the awkward couch couple?

Prediction has no teeth.

It was stellar, folks, really, the best birthday on the adult record. Yet sitting here now, I'm more and absolutely enchanted by the fact that he's intimately acquainted with my favorite, favorite Fleetwood Mac song.

And I got drunk, but I regret nothing.

Craigslist can stop trying. I've found the best ad ever:

Gong Ringer
Looking for someone to ring a gong in my living room when prompted. Part time position, I imagine mostly weekends. Experience not necessary, but history of gong-related ceremony in bloodline preferred. Serious inquiries only.

I'm pretty sure that I don't have strep, but I'm also pretty sure that my stomach doesn't like the antibiotics and that cold sores are fickle bitches.

In other news, I've been presumed as straight by two separate groups of lab friends on two separate days now. This is Weird, especially since I haven't tried to be straight since high school.

Birthday tomorrow WOO!

So you know those dreams that come when you've told yourself, Psh, I'm not in love with that guy, definitely not? Those ones where you're happy together because he's just butted you in the arm and you're hanging onto him laughing like a retarded mule and then he almost crawls into a nest of black widows and then you realize what would happen to your precious insides if he died?

Yeah. I didn't either, until last night.

SEE NAY MEEEEEX!

Yeah, figure that out. Also, I'm tired. Also, why the hell is it snraining?

Lauren's birthday was awesome. I really want a weekend so I can recover from the weekend, hokay? And what jackass thought it was a good idea to schedule a couple of tests directly following my birthday weekend, huh? Yeah, I'm looking at you, Bill Cosby.

Am heading up to Flag. Quite worried about the snow that's supposed to fall this evening into tomorrow, for a host of reasons including (but not limited to) school on Monday, meetings on Monday, work to complete before, the car I'll be in (equipped for snow but also not mine), and the inspired maladroitness that is driving in Arizona snow.

Am quite excited to see Lauren! Am quite excited for Lauren's birthday! General wish that snow would put on the red light.

I just stumbled (okay, awkwardly stalked) across a Facebook group for the brother's biology class. Yes, he's still in high school, and so shouldn't really be on Facebook at all, but, hey, it's a college prep class and if he's going to be on Facebook, what the hell?

I click onto it. Who started the group? His biology teacher, who also admins the group and, needless to say, has a Facebook.

Jesus, I miss the days when you had a to have a college .edu email address to join Facebook. Maybe we should just start something else, hm? Fists to the sky, comrades!

Being in class till after ten makes me a tired guy, but it makes the Backstreet Boys sound that much better.

“Calm down. You don’t just grab a ruler and tell everyone to whip their dicks out, you stuff your crotch and keep your pants on.”

Entry number one hundred! I'd be more proud if each of those posts were as well-crafted as an episode of Firefly. Alas, we muddle on.

I had a dream last night about some guys I crushed on in high school, and the only thing I think I took away from the dream was that they had really awful gelled hair back then.

I was slightly panicking this morning. I talked to Kellie and wrote a letter, and discovered once again that the things we panic about are often masks.

...Jesus, wasn't I funny before or something?

Happy February, and all that. Rabbit rabbit (reference?)

I'm looking through a bunch of summer undergrad research programs. I was quite excited at first, but so many (too many) have a stipulation that you can't participate if you've graduated/are going to graduate/otherwise have a degree. So, once again, I'm stuck in the middle: technically graduated, technically not graduated. Dammit, when is my damn degree going to be worth something?

4.0 summa cum laude in English!
SOMEONE LOVE ME.

Happy end of January! I'm not going to bitch, in the vein of "omg januarry sucked! im so ready for febuarry!" Not that you probably thought I would, but I like to establish these things early on in the relationship.

It seems to me apropos when a month ends on a Sunday. ...Yeah, that's about all I have. Why don't you go read Questionable Content?

For posterity, and because I just bought a couple of new ones, my movie collection sits thus:
Akeelah and the Bee
Alien
Aliens
Atonement
The Aviator
Babel
Bend it Like Beckham
The Big Green
Brokeback Mountain
Catch Me if You Can
Chicago
Contact
Deep Impact
Empire Records
Galaxy Quest
Good Night, and Good Luck
Good Will Hunting
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Hook
Juno
Jurassic Park
Matilda
The Muppets Take Manhattan
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Ocean's Eleven
October Sky
Pan's Labyrinth
Paris, Je T'aime
Pride & Prejudice
Run Lola Run
Serenity
She's the Man
Sphere
Spirited Away
Star Trek
Star Trek: First Contact
Star Wars (the original trilogy)
Titanic
Y Tu Mamá También

I'm happy about what this says about me, generally.

To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee.
One clover, and a bee.
And revery.
The revery alone will do, if bees are few.

- Emily Dickinson

J.D. Salinger is dead.
He hasn't published anything since 1965, hasn't spoken to anyone since 1980. By all accounts, he was probably a hermit, a grump, and a cantankerous old man. In all likelihood, manuscripts or short stories he wasn't going to release will be found/leaked/released/something. Overall outlook: better-to-the-same.

...I am not going to cry in the library. Not, not, not.

Today was a long day.

At school by 930, which means we have to leave by 900, which means I have to be up before 730. Study and stuff (okay, mostly I revised a story) until 1045, when I walk up to A&P at 1100. That went till about 115, and included a lot of microscopy and our first actual experience with the cadaver.
Aside: So, when I say "cadaver," is it just me, or do you assume that it's going to be a pathological specimen? You know: he just checked out ("just scraped off the road," said one of my lab partners). Yeah, not so much. This guy died of cancer about a year ago, he's been dissected like crazy, and he resembles a mummy (at least, the parts of him that are left). I can't say I'm disappointed, exactly, just surprised. Oh, and apparently we need a class name for him, so any suggestions?
Back to the day. After A&P I went to go see Chembledore, as I wanted to see what I achieved on my final exam. Now, this bad boy was a standardized test, the exam of the American Chemical Society, which evidently no one passes (I had statistics, but I'm too tired to look now. Maybe later). He told me last night that I did well, but I wanted to know. Evidently I got 49 out of a possible 70, which translates to an 88% on the curve the test was on, if that tells you anything about its difficulty. (I also made a lot of stupid mistakes.) An 88% isn't that great - I thought I knew more than that - but I also received perfect scores on the last true exam and the lab exam, which is quite nice.
Biology at 200. Lots more microscopy, and my eyes were ready to take a yearlong nap. We go straight through till 445, and I was quite ready to be done at the end (microevolution is the topic of choice at the moment - evolution of small populations). Nope! I went down to tutor, my first day back, and I was looking forward to a quiet day. Didn't happen. Evidently word's out that I can tutor biology now and I was booked until we closed at 800. Right, I'm tired, so what am I going to do? Go to Sadie's for her housewarming party, yes? So I got home around 1000 'cause I really am fairly tired. And what do I find? I get a four-page passive-aggressive note from the father telling me my showers take too long. Of all things. And now is a good time as any to record in journal form that the parents are splitting up, and I'm too much a child of the nineties to think that "trial separation" can mean anything good. Of course, since this is my emotionally-repressed family we're talking about, things will be business-as-normal up to and until someone moves out, at which point it'll be business-as-the-new-normal! Plus the passive-aggressive notes and whatever else nastiness comes up, probably, 'cause god knows you can blame all your problems on your kids.
Okay, I wasn't going to rant about this, but it's been pissing me off for a while. We finally had the big family meeting sit-down several days ago about the parents giving up, and they both made very sure to stress that this is not happening because of the children! And then the father goes on to say that the long and short of it is that while they were raising us, they kind of had to put their own lives on hold, and that's probably what hurt them most and drove them apart. Okay, say it with me, in bold italics: What the fuck? How is that not blaming the children? He blatantly told us that giving us their attention is the reason their marriage failed! Out of respect for the brothers, who are sometimes pains-in-the-asses but are otherwise fairly brittle, IMO, I didn't say anything then, but, boy, did I want to. I was sitting next to my youngest brother and watching him during all of this, and I just kept thinking, "Jesus, you're going to be telling all this shit to your therapist in thirty years."
Annnnnyway. There's my big, sad news, which has gotten me to thinking about lasting relationships and all, and I've realized that my family has royally fucked up in that direction. Cases-in-point:
Every one of my mom's sisters (three) have divorced, most more than once.
My dad's brother has divorced multiple times, and his sister has basically excommunicated herself (she straight up told my grandmother that she wished that she'd died instead of my grandfather).
My dad's parents: mentioned grandfather has been dead since the early eighties, and the grandmother has freely admitted she wished that she'd gone to college and/or continued her career and not gotten married when she did.
My mom's parents were apparently only together because my grandfather on that side was gay and needed a lady.
So, let's see. My test pool is nine couples, and my results indicate maybe 0.5 - 1 of those worked out in the long term (and I'm being generous here).
What can we learn? How about: Who the fuck are you marriage elitists to say that gay people can't get married? (for one) also: Don't fuck your lives over and expect your kids to deal with it, assholes. (plus) Don't fuck your lives over and then blame your kids for it or take it out on them! Fuckers. Dirty fuckers, all of them.

Ah, using a blog to rant. I feel like I've returned to my roots.

On a happier note, I received a note yesterday that said that one of my stories had been accepted for publication in a magazine out of Philly. Details to follow, but for now they want an author bio. Friends, you know me: Help?

This post is structured like a bad PowerPoint presentation.
(minus the silly clip art)

The Smiths
-have you noticed how every single one of their songs can be homoeroticized really easily?
-also morrissey was hot and ridiculous in all their music videos.

Today
-I watched a beating heart surgery on Youtube. there was something about taking a shunt out, and suturing the cut, and he kept saying anastomosis. I wish I knew more. then again, I was kinda asleep when I was watching it.
-I started reading the MCAT book. I have a long way to go. but on the other hand, it doesn't look insurmountable. on the other hand, I can see that I'd need to do a lot of learning and studying on my own, even if I hadn't already resolved to. silly schooling.

Music in general
-"Maxwell's Silver Hammer" is (1) a new favorite and (2) the most cheerful song about multiple homicides I've ever heard
-I like Fall Out Boy's "I Don't Care" and "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race," and, as per the first song, I don't know who cares.
-my list of bands for whom I like 90% or more of their songs stands thus: Fleetwood Mac, Franz Ferdinand, Garbage, The Beatles, and (thanks to my childhood) Eurythmics and The Police.
-do you capitalize "the" when referring to bands like The Beatles and The Police?
-how could a song called "Starship Trooper" not be wonderful? thank you, Yes.

My birthday
-WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?
-no, really, I want suggestions. Amanda and Melyssa both said that going to Phoenix to do something totally unusual would be good. do we do the clubbings? OPINIONS.
-I'm going to wax nerdy for a moment and say I want Star Trek: Online. also that tablet I was talking about.

I'm excited for
-class this week, particularly Chemistry, and my tiny lab. shoot me.
-using capitals again! why would PowerPoints not capitalize at sentence beginnings? I dunno, but it felt right (wrong).

Before I forget completely, briefs from the first week back.

Hanes, 2(x)ist, Calvin Klein, gay shit I can't think of at the moment....
(I pun me right up.)

I tried getting up at 630 to take Alex to school and get the car for the rest of the day. As evidenced by that day's journal of additions, it didn't really work. So, I'm getting up at the much more reasonable 730 (or thereabouts?) to go and study at 930 before class at 11. There's a convoluted math at work here, don't try and figure it out.

A&P. All women, save for me and three other guys. All nursing students, save for me and one of the other guys. This one other guy is also pre-med (or so he thinks, or "maybe biology"). He's attractive and I pegged him as a gay when I saw him, but then he said he'd transferred from Riddle which, for those of you not in the know, is full of metro California boys, so it could swing any which way. The professor also called the guy whose last name was clearly "Tant" "Taint," which cracked me right up.
So, who thought in the first semester of A&P we'd be dissecting cadavers? Yeah, me neither. Evidently we are.
We also have to buy our own gloves because the school axed them out of the budget. YAY ARIZONA SCHOOLS.
In the class are two women I knew from last term, a woman from my biology class and another from the tutoring center. They were singing about my good bits (not those good bits) while I was sitting in front of them, which was a little embarrassing. Evidently I'm a very good math teacher and I'm going to get tenured down the line because I'll want to go back to the classroom.

Biology, or Bio II. My teacher is dry as hell. There's only three folks from my class last term. Luckily one of them is Kellie, and the other two are chicks I dug (did dig?). There's a guy who sits catty-corner from Kellie and I who has the most defined pectorals I've ever seen. Kellie and I were both staring (we couldn't help it, hokay?) and he was frickin' winking them at us. Not joking. I dunno if it was intentional, but she also swore up and down after class that he was trying to catch my eye. Needless to say, we nicknamed him "Pecs" immediately.
I ran into Stacy! I'm going to have to track that girl down.
Remember when I posted that quote about us being star stuff a while back? Yeah, I didn't think so, but it's true: Every atom inside your body has, at one point in its atomic life, been inside a star. We ARE star stuff, mofos.
My teacher said the heart was part of the circulatory system, not the cardiovascular. Erm, well....

This is the kind of journal I'm going to look back on and think
What. The. Fuck?

I am proud to be a member of this bashdom. Here, have a giggle:

Also, the NPR network stopped broadcasting last night.

Note to weather disaster fiction writers: this is the order in which chaos takes control.

We have currently:
(1) river flood warning
(1) regular flood warning
(1) winter storm warning
(1) high wind warning

Fun times. At least there's no tornado warnings, like elsewhere in the state.

satellite is out, phones are out, power keeps flickering (has gone out), wind is crazy, storm is crazy, internet went out as soon as I tried to post this. I say, horror movie storm?

Up till midnight last night
+ waking up at 630
+ dance
+ two three-hour science classes
+ being nervous about the first day back
+ not drinking enough water
= one very tired me

Hanson is a lot more than just MMMBop.

I was up at 630 this morning and now I want lunch. It's only 1020. Yay fast metabolism?

It totally didn't snow except a little. It did rain all day, which is ... well, what's the point? It's January, it's cold, if it's not going to snow, the storms shouldn't even bother stopping by. Am I right? I am right.

Did you that "snafu" was originally an acronym? Situation Normal: All Fucked Up. This is being de-acronymed right now, and I'm using that all the time. (My book says it, like fubar, was a WWII-ism.)

I'm getting my hair cut today. Pictures will not follow. Try drawing me as a cartoon, and then I might let you know how it went.

Ugh. What the hell, Golden Globes? Avatar was good, but by no means was it the best movie of the year. And The Hangover for best comedy? Yeah, no way in hell.

Alas. We shall persevere, and hope that sense returns to the people with the phasings of the moon.

School begins this week. It's supposed to snow/rain all week, too. We'll see how all this goes?

Gotta be honest, friends, I'm a little depressed about my family life right now. The parents are sleeping in separate bedrooms, the brothers are entertaining but still spend all their time playing their computers. I'm actually pretty happy, as far as the me alone part goes. I feel a bit selfish, since I think, "Hey, you people! These were the last years I was going to spend with you before I went off to med school and became a doctor and all that, as I'm probably not going to see you for years and years!" And now they're not being the ideal I wanted, and in fact they're careening fairly quickly in the other direction, and I feel cheated and betrayed. I have these visions of me down the road taking care of the parents, but in those visions, I was always taking care of both of them, together. I also would like the brothers to do something other than play games so I can find some common ground.

Well, I've been assimilating these new bits, and what will come will come. I can't say I'm happy, but if I wasn't here for this, I'd feel bad, and if this is the end of my family unit as I know it, for whatever reason, even if it's just brother #1 going off to school, I am happy that I stayed here. ...Even if everything closes at nine o'clock and it's boring as hell at night.

I shall leave this rather depressing entry with two good quotes.
From Joan Jett: "We've been here too long / Tryin' to get along / Pretendin' that you're oh so shy..."
(that last line, especially)
From Gabourey Sidibe: "One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl."
(the entire quote: "I feel like a model. It justifies everyone in my life who told me I wouldn’t be anything until I lost weight. It justifies that little girl who cried because she didn’t think she could be in front of the camera. And it’s for other girls who feel like they can’t do this or that and feel like they’re not pretty and not worthy of having their photo taken. ... People always ask me, ‘You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl. I wear colors that I really like, I wear makeup that makes me feel pretty, and it really helps. It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see.”)

Remember the lysine contingency from Jurassic Park? The deal that the dinos had been genetically engineered so they couldn't produce (the amino acid) lysine themselves? And thus the JP folks used it as a control mechanism, because if the dinos weren't supplied with lysine in their park-approved, goats-and-lawyers diet, they'd die?

Yeah. Not so much. Turns out that lysine is an essential amino acid. Hm? Yeah, that'd be an amino acid our bodies can't produce.

I feel like my childhood was a lie.

I guess it could've been different for the 'saurs?

I found a radio station on iTunes called Cinemix that plays selections from thousand of movie (and TV and game) soundtracks.

I am teh hooked.

Beautiful people doing beautiful things. or, I hate front page stories.

I need some helpful interpretation of recent events.
I've been wanting to buy a tablet (basically: you draw/write on it and your computer recognizes it in Photoshop), and I've found some good ones for relatively cheap. I found one that I really like for $69 over the weekend. Today, I received a check for $68 from my second job. It was totally unexpected, as I haven't worked for about a month now, and I'm unsure whether or not I should take it as a sign. So, I put it to you, readers of these words: Sign or not? Tablet or not?

I use ALL CAPS too often, The Hangover was not funny, and I plan to finish reading my chemistry book* before term begins.

*and outline it

"LET ME GOOGLE THAT FOR YOU" IS FUCKING FRIGHTENING.

SERIOUSLY.

STOP KNOWING WHAT I'M THINKING. WHAT. I WOULDN'T EVEN PHRASE IT THAT WAY. FUCK YOUR PREPOSITIONS.

Dear Indie Boys at Coffeehouses,

Stop being hot and ambiguously gay. Also, indie is not the "new gay."

(P.S. This is not a Questionable Content shout-out, it's just an aggravatingly blue-balled observation.)

TEQUILA!

There, the lyrics thing is out of my system.

If I just posted entries that were classic rock lyrics, do you think you'd call me smart? I wonder if anyone would've noticed.

Yeah, I have nothing good to write, I just typed in the address 'cause my fingers don't listen to me. I'm going ice skating tomorrow! OLYMPICS SOON!

Entertainment in a new decade!

First off, I've seen two movies so far, which is incredibly rare. A brief rundown:
It's Complicated. It's bad. Seriously, it's badly written and ridiculous. Meryl Streep plays a bimbo divorcee well, but who'd want to? Alec Baldwin is creepy, the kids are Aryan clones without a lick of interesting dialogue between them, and what else can I say about a movie in which the best thing is tossed up between (1) Meryl Streep getting stoned and (2) an old lady shouting "DON'T HUG HIM" at the screen?
Up in the Air. Brilliant. I will be buying it as soon as it comes out. Anna Kendrick is perfect. George Clooney is immensely talented, and here's why. Vera what's-her-name is ... shit ... what? And OMG THEY'RE OVER FORTY AND THEY'RE STILL DOING IT.
(Hint, It's Complicated, it's sex. It happens. We know, and no one cares. Get over it.)

Book!
The Things They Carried. I've read the titular short story before, but the entire book is one of the roughest I've ever read. He knows what he's talking about, Tim O'Brien. Listen to him.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. Insult and injury: Nanni leaves, we undecorate, and there's still the awkward "too much togetherness!" in my family. Even though, you know, no one leaves for school or anything at present.

The New Decade was wonderful! Went up as Lauren had a hotel, took Alex and Amanda and spent the day cruising through Bookman's and town in general, then went to Beaver Street, where I ate exactly half of my wonderful pizza and then forgot the rest of it because of the equally wonderful beer.

("Wonderful" count: three.)

We stayed at Lauren's room for a bit, met Delano, went over to Wes's and met some of his excellently amusing friends that made me realize once again that I missed so many good times up there. Apples to Apples, grad students, off-color jokes ... I like schooling now, but I miss desperately folks who are old enough to drink legally. Or, barring that, who are relatively sorted.

Anyway. I'm kind of angsty tonight. And increasingly and crazily horny, fyi.

We went downtown for the dropping of the pinecone, which was freezing - I sobered up in about five minutes, thanks to the almost-zero degree weather. My fingers were frostbitten, or so I thought, and I remember screaming in the car as we slid over ice (I was not driving), but I think that was before.... ELLIPSIS