'kay. A character who's too cheap to buy cologne, so he goes to the local Fry's (or whathaveyou) before every date or night out (or whathaveyou), opens the men's magazines, rips open the cologne smelly-tabs, and rubs 'em on. He then replaces the magazine and goes about his evening.

Is he a bastard? Is he anything but a bastard?
I just thought of this. Remember.